How To

How To Parent Body Mechanics
(20 Tips)

Children do not know how to conduct life. This life is new to them. You the grown up adult person teaching them how to conduct life. If you do not explain the plan, set the mood and set the humor, the child will be confused, cranky and cry to get your attention to explain what is happening. If there will be something different, explain it before it happens. Plan. Parenting is building together an outcome.

Here are 20 things to implement:

1. Consistent Plan

Routine, Routine, Routine. We need routine.

This is true for babies, children, teens, young adults and 90+ year olds. If we lose consistency, we lose active listening to our body signals – creating a path to numbness and impulsivity.

Impulsivity is the reaction to outside of the body in a “Fight or Flight” response. You do not want to train a child to think pumping endorphins running through the blood is normal.

Solution: Plan. Kids, babies and adults all want to know the start and end of an event or before change to be explained how long this “change” will occur. You can’t control unpredictable things, but do not let RANDOM people and RANDOM activities be normal.

An Example Routine:
– Breakfast (before 9:30am)
Something active or fun like the park or activity.

– Lunch (before 1:30pm)
Read, nap, color, learn something new.

– Dinner (before 7:00pm)

– Getting ready for bed (6:45pm)

– Bedtime (7:00pm or 7:30pm)

Once or twice a week is when it is not family night. Make family night the majority of your nights and make having company over once or twice a week at most. You have 18 summers.

2. Communicating the Plan

Crying is their way of getting your attention. Instead of waiting for them to ask: “What are we doing?! and For How Long?!”

Things to do:

  • Put house rules on a board with consequences being clear in a meeting before the day or week starts. Make it fun but serious. Be clear and short. Share consequences of what will happen if they disobey.
  • Implement consequence the moment they disobey. No discussions. No lectures.
    (Obedience is very important to God that is why He made books of rules and laws in old and New testament, starting with the heart. Not doing what the parents say to do is a state of rebellion towards God. Ages 4 and under have a time out place where they can see you and they see you. Take their hand to this place when they decide to disobey.)

    Things to not do:

    • Do no repeat any directions more than once. Take away privledges immedetly.
    • Do not threaten. Use full sentences and talk to children like they are humans and adults. Be clear.
    • Don’t be sarcastic or ask hypothetic questions to give directions.
    3. Poop & Pee

    At the very least they should know how to go to the bathroom by the age of 2 and know how to wipe and clean their hands. They will be clumsy around 2 years old but at least they know HOW to do it.

    There are 40 and 60 year olds holding their pee, toots and poop supressing gas causing chest pain. This also leads to recycling urine waste back into the blood stream causing illness and disease.

    Learn to stop on roadtrips every 30 to 60 minutes. Learn to poop in public bathrooms, bring Poopouri and Immunity Boost hand sanitizer, my personal favorite spray.

    More on Poop here: Everybody Poops.

    4. Sleep

    Sleep routine needs to be the same time.

    At 4 years old at 8:00pm or 8:30pm and at 7:00pm bathtime, teeth brushing, jammies…Scripture reading, or Hobbit and Narnia (something that charges their imagination)

    At 11 years old 8:30pm or 9:00pm (After dinner or board game or card game, family devotion time and then a shower and read to themselves, listen to music, build or craft, journal…something quiet. Not a screen)

    Great resource:
    Sleep-Eat-Wake Sample Routines by Baby Wise

    If the little one needs a little help falling asleep try these things:
    Sleep Boosters

    5. Eat

    FOR BABIES: Do not lay them horizontally to breast feed or bottle feed. Have them vertical as the stomach is not made to eat laying down.

    Eating meals together gives the message: “You can do it!”

    The whole family should eat together at the table with the baby or toddler and ENJOY the food. Making yummy noises when you bite into your bite as it will encourage the child to eat with out telling them to eat. Eating food is a joyful thing and to be celebrated! Kids will want to do what makes you have joy.

    Be Consistent with Meal Time.

    • Breakfast: No later than 9:30am
    • Lunch: No later than 1:30pm
    • Dinner: No later than 7:00pm

    “I don’t want to eat that!”
    If they do not want to eat, they will have to wait until the next meal. Do not repeat: “it is time to eat.” If they are playing with food or throwing it, they need to be removed from the table with zero lectures and attitude from the parent. They have to wait for the next meal. Do not give them a snack or any food until they are back in their chair ready to eat at the table for the next meal.


    6. Touch - Stranger Danger

    99.9% of children can pin point creepiness. Don’t force your child to hug or touch someone.

    If someone doesn’t want to go to an event or go hang out with someone as an adult…Do you call them Shy? We do not know why people do the things they do, so do not force your idea on why your child does not want to hug someone or be friends with them.

    When a child learns he or she must touch someone to be “polite” but they do not want too, this teaches children to ignore their body mechanics. Even though your friend might be familiar to you, don’t push that relationship on your child. Let them form bonds with people indivudually with the direction of the Holy Spirit (Bible). Do a word search of “friend” with your children to be familiar with what God defines as a friend, not the world.

    7. Teach Skills & Trades ASAP

    After 8th grade, most schools repeat the information. After 8th grade, it is time for to apprentice or some type of work, volunteer for someone who is a tradesman. Clean a welding room, clean a sewing room. Learn a trade and use your muscles to make things or service.

    Reading, Cooking, Gardening, Sewing, Piano, Swimming, Ping Pong, Yard Care etc.

    For children, start a fun skill like sewing cloth together, making soap, cooking with mom one on one, taking the trash out, if it’s a boy mix concrete with dad, fish with dad one on one etc.

    All these skills are good examples to add hands on into your daily or weekly routine with your toddler.

    As soon as your toddler or child learns fundemental skills and responsiblities before they get hormones pumping in their system (11 years old) have them learn a trade.

    Working and serving others gives more satisfaction or fulfillment than any drug. Teach your kid a trade and skills to have the physical, tangible body mechanics for life. If a child knows the funnest thing to do on this planet is serve and learn, they won’t want what the world can offer – drugs, gossip, idle, bully, addictions, jail or multiple partners.

    Check out our page:
    Body Mechanics 101: Trades on ways to help your child practically move into using body mechanics for life of service with Mike Rowe’s S.W.E.A.T. Pledges.

    8. Is Your Lifestyle Causing Stress?

    The routined life is a simple life.

    Signing up for a million evening plans and going 500 miles per an hour skipping meals and postponing bathroom breaks is called “hummingbird” lifestyle.
    This is the “Hyper” side of a stressed state.

    The “Eor” lifestyle lingers and slowly acts. More fantasizing and less doing. Skipping meals and not sleeping because it “takes energy.” A lot of people have supressed nervous system, causing an over numb feeling or Ecclesiastes thinking. “Whatever”
    This is the “Hypo” side of a stressed state.

    The simple life is what the Bible calls “make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.” (1 Thessalonians 4:12)

    Think through what people, places, things, conversations, and events trigger stress. Talk to spouse and pray through what to take out of your weekly routine. You can’t control stressful situations, but you can make a practice out of them.

    Question to Discuss with Spouse:
    Do your weekly activities interrupt the routine of homeostasis?
    Homeostasis Checklist!

    9. Drinking Water

    Start Reaching Gallon of Water a Day

    Address thoughts with facts not feelings. Check out the
    Homeostasis Checklist

    As soon as you can, get your child to have a straw cup that is spill proof to practice sipping water through out the day and a cup of water during every meal. The weight of the water pulls the stomach back into place and helps close the sphincter preventing acid reflex (throwing up):

    It is a lie that a baby can not sip on water. Please email me the reason someone told you not to allow your baby, toddler or child to start drinking water.

    10. Watch Out for Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy

    Regardless if this is you or not, don’t let your children around these people or their children. It is unsafe.

    People with MSP may create or exaggerate a child’s symptoms in several ways. They may enjoy the “adventure of their child being ill” so continuing illness or like WebMD states, “lying about symptoms, alter tests (such as contaminating a urine sample), falsify medical records, or they may actually induce symptoms.” Someone with MSP might do this through various means, such as not feeding the child, restricting water, allowing dangerous environment stressors, or continually neglecting of routine of the needs of the child. WebMD notes symptoms may be poisoning, suffocating, starving, and causing infection.

    From WebMD: Someone with MSP does not seem to be motivated by a desire for any type of material gain. While health care providers are often unable to identify the specific cause of the child’s illness, they may not suspect the parent or caretaker of doing anything to harm the child. In fact, the caregiver often appears to be very loving and caring and extremely distraught over their child’s illness.


    11. Don't Pick Up Your Kid If They Can Walk

    As soon as a child can walk, let them! This is so amazing! They are able to have a swinging rythm with their muscles.

    Do not pick them up. Allow the child to be rewarded to use their muscles and grow and climb up the couch or into the car seat themselves so they can form strength and range of motion. They will love when they get to the top of the couch and pillows next to grandma or dad that they “made it!” and they did it! There at the zenith of their climb, they have been hugged and loved on.

    If the child needs to be picked up for any reason, have the dad do it, not mom. Women do not have the arm capacity to pick up and twist small people. It will weaken the solar plexus and sternum area where it will cause tearing and pain in the neck, back or abdomen.

    Give the adventure to your child as soon as possible! Let their muscles feel tugging and pulling! Celebrate the “I did it by myself!”

    12. Nightly Bible Reading

    Read through the Bible together. Read through a chapter or a few verses and have prayer time.

    Ways to do it:

    13. Homeschool

    Homeschooling is more condusive to maintain healthy body mechanics. This is because the child can use the restroom and hydrate when they need too. Hydrating, urinating and pooping improves physical and mental growth and gives oppurtunities for hands on training. For example, instead of just talking about Noah’s Ark, you can go visit the Ark in KY.

    I have personally seen both these programs work really well in conjunction: Classical Conversation (repeat and song memorization) and Charlette Mason (applying learning/hands on). your near by homeschool network for resources and locations of these groups.

    14. Discipline

    To spank or not to spank. To ground or not to ground.

    The bottom line, the child will always find your attention rewarding whether it is good or bad reasons. Your approval will always be a longing in a child’s mind as long as we live.

    Every child is also a sinner. They will push the limits to see if anyone cares to see how far he or she can go. This act of rebellion can be with crossing the street, not eating, lying about peeing etc.

    These things happen because there was not a plan to begin with and if the plan changed it was not explained before it happened.

    This is why number one “Consistent Plan” is actually number one.

    If you say, “Do not run around.” The child will run around. If you have a book or activity for them to do, they don’t know you could run around, if you show them what you’re supposed to do in any situation before it happens, they will mimic and try to do what parents are doing.

    If all this is difficult, you might have to reset their body mechanics. See #1. Make a Consistent Plan. Show a poster board or calender where your 18 month old can go see it and you point to it when someone is coming over and why. Make staying home regular routine and visitors only come once or twice a week and THEY know when they are coming. Put alone time with Mom once a every two weeks and time alone with Dad every other two weeks. Whatever you do, put it on a calender where they can see it and look forward to it and be rewarded with time with parents. No surpise trips or surpise guests within each other in a week. These are all examples of course, the bottom line, have fun with your kids at home with a Consistent Plan and routine of cooking, reading, playing outside, field trips on the calender, educational videos etc.

    2% surprises, 98% routine or planned event. This makes the child comfortable, have energy and joy with less sick days and less tantrums.

    15. Breathe Through Nose

    2 things could be happening:

    If a child does not breathe through nose, check for tongue tie and nasal cavity to see if there are physical things to address. Then apply tape at night.


    16. Bad Dreams

    Parents can usually tell the difference between acting out with the bad dream or if there is a deeper issue such as illness or lack of communication. Never have the kid, toddler to sleep with you in the same bedroom.

    17. Reward with Relationships, Not Screens

    100% No Screens Post School (Private or Public)

    Be IN-PERSON with your kids. The child God gave you is not a trophy baby to God. Be with your kids. Train them.

    The biggest thing they want is YOU and do what YOU do. God gave you children to develop in His image and plan, not your image and plan.

    If you stare at a screen, they want to stare at a screen. If you are picky with food, they will be picky with food. If you’re thankful, they are thankful. If you stay up late. They will stay up late. If you sit on the side of the porch with coffee and read the Bible every morning, they want to sit on the porch with coffee and read the Bible every morning.

    The interactions of eye contact and conversation must be developed and not neglected as those actions create proper blood flow to brain, Pituitary Gland (Anti-depressant) and Hypothalamus Gland (the true source of control of all secretion of hormones).

    Social interactions create certain muscle movement where our body mechanics have been stimulated with a level of irritation, which is part of the 10 characteristics of life.  Yes! Being irritated means you’re alive!

    Screen time creates one thing: Shrimp Position.
    Posturally, screen time makes a shrimp brain, shrimp muscles and after repeating this practice, it locks you into a Shrimp Mood.

    • The armlines (rotator muscles) cut off blood in the arm at the shoulder causing carpel tunnel, swelling in the wrists, inflammation in finger joints or cause an overall weak grip strength.
    • The deep front line of muscles (abs, diaphgram, obliques…every part of the body that everyone wants to look like a beach bod) will absolutely lock down and prevent blood flow to Prostate, Uterus, Liver and in some cases prevent healthy colon pressure preventing good digestion to poop, pee or hold it from leaking.

    If you or your child is starting to look like your 100 year old father with a cane come see me for a consultation (zyto scan $85/30 – 45 minute session) to see what we could do with bodywork and what you could do to help at home to unravel the Shrimp Mood.

    100 things you can do with your kids instead of screens (coming soon!)

    18. Best Exercise for Kids

    The best exercise is a jungle gym, outside woods or park with a playground. 3 reasons why this is the greatest activity for toddlers & kids:

    1. This improves range of motionin all joints helping the heart pump blood with out repeating the same movement. Do you have a toddler or young child with plumpy limbs? They’re lypmh system is stuck. They just need range of motion! 

    2. Being outside is the other reason to do this daily. The ground, sun, dirt all this builds immunity. If your child does not like being outside, it’s because they are not used to it. Put it in the daily routine and they’ll get used to it after 2 or 3 times of consistency.

    3. It’s free

    Other body mechanical notes on the playground:

    Stay away from monkey bars, especially for girls, as it will create tears or strains in the arm line and abdominal area as they are not built to use arms to carry weight. Women strength is in the hips and legs, not arms.

    For boys, let them do risky things as you are right by them.

    Say No to Verbal Confusion:

    Try to stay away from the words “be careful” as that is vague and switches the body into “Fight or Flight.” Let their body decide if something is dangerous based on the training you have already implemented.

    19. Bullying

    God Handles Bullies

    Wherever there is sin, there is a bully and someone being bullied. Teach kids that God will handle it.

    1. King Ahab was bullied. God dismantled them.
    1 Kings 20

    2. Elisha was bullied about his purpose and appearance. God destroyed them.
    2 Kings 2:23-25

    3. Satan asks God to bully Job. God grants permission and limits the amount and stops it.

    20. Vacation Together Alone

    Your family needs alone time every time.

    As a family, get to know them all. If your 18 year old leaves the house and you don’t know them and they don’t know you…they will not want to come back too visit willingly.

    The same idea if you don’t have spouse to spouse alone time, they will break up…or stay together unwillingly.

    Why do you not want to spend time with someone? Because they do not want to get to know you.

    Get to know your kids and spouse. Teach your kids the Art of Getting to Know someone.

    Questions you should be able to ask/answer on vacations:
    1. What is your favorite activity?
    2. What are you reading the Bible currently?
    3. What is the most impactful person in your life? (This should be God and if it isn’t…this needs to be cultivated to God)
    4. What is your fantasy on writing or creating something fun?
    5. What is a project/activity you would like to do with me? Painting workshop. Cooking. Hunting. Learn a skill together: dancing, cooking, baking, building legos…

    Alister Begg on Parenting

    Fathers, You Are In Charge

    “No one gets destroyed with a lack of feelings but a lack of knowledge.” – Alister Begg





    Christian Family Distinctions that Bring Wellness

    Christians should be distinct from the surrounding culture. So what does it look like to follow Christ and obey God’s commands?

    Saul’s god made him weak. David’s God made him victorous
    (2 Samuel) How are you directing your family? In the Word of God or the world way? Listen to this series for some distinctions.


    If you have other topics email or text me ideas!